Today's theme is...

Lack of sleep. Need to be counting the wooly extras of Emmerdale to help get me snoring. Or, do that great British pastime, of singing the title of the tv show along to it's theme. "Emmerdale, farm, is now just called Emmer-der-dale..." Works better for some than others, admittedly.The Sweeney is for beginners, You're up to level 5, and past the bosses, when you can do Crossroads. Ahhh, teatime memories.

What? The meisterwerks that are the themes from 'Dale and 'Sroads no nothing for you? Not even a queasy shifting in the stomach and the memory of the smell of fishfingers? (That's what I get, for some reason.) Shame!

That's something I would make a law/national pastime out of, clubbing to death people who unnecessarily shorten the names of things to sound hip. "I never miss Corrie or Dale, and Trish in the day, cos I think the Beeb are too depress with Stenders and Cazh." (Cue sound of £22.60's worth of 2 pence coins, in a rugby sock hitting twat around the head. Note. sock is in the back of a Land Rover while this happens. Ohhh, tread marks!)

Well, my sleep pattern resembles something a chimp with a Spirograph would produce after half a bottle of Baileys, my dreams are intensely intense, yet boring, and I need to go and have a coffe every 15 minutes. But this is not booze or balti related. Stayed in with the ironing last night.

I envy those with the Sunday morning afterburn, Do you have balti finger, the medically recognised condition when you can smell last night's bhuna on your index finger and, in advance cases, your fingers resemble those of a lifelong 60 a day Woodbine fanatic? No, well get back out there! Fame costs, and this is where you start paying! Fame! I'm gonna live forever, I'm gonna learn how to fly, high! Hey, Leroy! You look like a girl in your legwarmers! Cue 6 minute dance number on judging by appearances. Ironic, don't you think, that of the cast of Fame, I can only think of one of the cast that did anything, of merit, afterwards. Did you ever watch that, or have I just been rambling again. And did I just think that or am I typing out loud again?

Time for caffeine.

They walk amongst us...

After the last entry, and associated texts to mates, I have not heard anything from anyone, apart from a comment added to this. Was it something I said, or are their messages being intercepted by the CIA? Again.

Maybe that's just the way of the world in these troubled times, where people cannot just be open minded and feel they have to shy away from things they think might be a bit "odd" or "weird".
I was talking to Shjgyutyt, my main man from over Neptune way about the same thing the other night...

Talking of Tranmere Rovers' fans, the image to your right is the cover of the new Half Man Half Biscuit album, and, from the tracks I've heard so far, it's a good un. "Joy Division oven glove" is all I'd hoped it would be, after getting to last year's Festive Fifty, with the lads sounding as fresh and cutting as ever. Like a lime scented Stanley knife, or Cif down your japeye. Have also been downloading Peel and other radio bits from the site, including the best cover of 'Song to the Siren' since John Barnes' radical remix in the style of his World in Motion rap.

Also, caught the last episode of the Boosh online and catch myself, bathroom mirror like, reflecting on the series and having a slash. There were a few moments when I wanted to text them asking "y kp ths knd crzy sht til lst ep, u mnky frglrs?" , but if I didn't know what I was talking about, why would they? Yes, it was frustrating that they'd kept the really out there, yet beautifully simple, ideas till the last episode, and yes, I did call them monkey frunglers. But that was because I was blown away by the child like invention in that episode.

I'd been worried at times when material in earlier shows had been based on earlier stuff, some going back to stage shows like Arctic Boosh. Ok, everyone does it, if you've ever seen John Shuttleworth you smile and groan at the same time (not to be advised in a job interview, unless it's for 'cider swigging tramp with hand in trousers, must have own imaginary friend') at some of the material. Alexei Sayle was once arrested for plagiarising himself but in the end dropped the charges and settled out of court.

No, the Booshy boys have been good, but I wonder if they have much more in the tank. Maybe a longer gap between the two series would make me appreciate them more. Maybe disappointment in Nathan Barley, and shows like Balls of Steel (Bag of Shite, more like) has made me really want the Boosh to be the show that makes me glad to be alive and own a telly. I wanted it to be essential, and it is, to me, but I don't see it making that leap to "must see tv" for others. It feels too safe and comfortable within the boundaries it has created for itself - we know the relationships between the characters and who will end up clearing up the mess and , yes, the situations will be exotic, but how many times do we need to be in the desert? Or a wilderness of some kind? And why does Naboo sound like Frank Lampard? No, really, try it next time you hear him/them. Alan Hansen discussing "the lad in the turban's great vision and use of space, but Bollo, in defence? Shocking, truly shocking. "

Having said that, the move away from the zoo was a brave one, even if it meant relocating to a sitcom flat/bedsit. It's like Rising Damp had never been away. The episode, The Beast and the Priest was only nominally about Howard and Vince, and was probably my favourite. But, again, the characters are following the same formula and we are stuck in the desert. It was good but felt too familar.

So, overall, I'm glad they're back and still doing the business, but would like to feel surprised more often. Maybe I've been spoiled by the radio shows. Either way, I wouldn't want them to stop.

Envisat

Ok, so I took my time, I had to register with a cracking site called www.heavens-above.com, but a couple of checks and I think I may have an answer. The image shows the track of Envisat, whatever that is, and seems a good match on timing and general area of the sky.

Will get a compass tomorrow to confirm my thoughts, and will try and find an explanation for the apparent changes in movement, but for now, I'm happy.

Dunbunkin', the name of my retirement cottage.

Like it says...

U.F.O.
Unidentified Flying Object.

Just after 9 tonight, I was in the back garden, having a fag, minding my own, when I notice a light in the sky, brighter than any of the stars already out. Judging by the brightness of the sky, the position of the light, and the lack of anything near it, it stood out as odd. There was no flashing or twinkling to it, just a very bright, white light, larger than a star and seemingly at a lower altitude than the few clouds nearby.

As I looked, I thought I could see a slight movement, but wasn't sure. While watching, the light seemed to speed up, it's movement obvious now, and the intensity of the light started to increase with it. As I watched, the light made a movement, a partial "S", and flared into a burst of light brighter than anything else I have seen, including meteors, aircraft or satellites.

My initial thoughts, when I first saw it, were about a satellite, or the space station currently in orbit. I have read about Iridium satellites causing flashes, also websites that allow you to predict and observe these. I will be checking those out soon. That might explain the sudden increase in brightness and sudden disappearance afterwards. What I'd like it do would be to explain the apparent changes in speed and direction I saw, plus the one bright flash, near enough in the original position, I saw just after this thing disappeared.

I've seen a lot of things in the sky, but only once before saw something that was genuinely unexplained and unidentifiable. That time, I wasn't alone. Like tonight, I saw something that changed speed and direction, appeared to be below some cloud level, had no flashing lights and moved quicker than any aircraft I've ever seen.

Within minutes of seeing it, I texted a couple of mates to try and keep my memory of it as sharp and as honest as possible. All too often, people can create details not originally present and the misidentified becomes the mysterious and you have to keep up with the story as it takes on a life of it's own. This is an attempt at an honest recording of a weird thing for me. Something, like it says on the tin, that was up there and out there.

Tracy the gorilla

The sunburned thighs have calmed down a little, thanks to a little aftersun, a cool bath or two and a cowload of morphine.

Legs now covered with a tartan travel rug, I'm wearing a tweed deerstalker and nursey is about to troll me round the hospital grounds while I lash out at hospital staff and flowers with a walking stick, mumbling dark thoughts under my breath. Yeah, I'm fine.

I curse the Internet and it's ability to help me waste time, though.

Examples?

For no reason, other than I just did, I found myself humming the theme tune to a tv series I remember from the mid 70's that was on Saturday mornings on ITV. Beforehand, I would just wait until out with the lads for a drink and we had all had enough to start burbling on about our particular bugbear before asking if anyone else remembered 2 blokes and a gorilla who were the first Ghost Busters I ever saw.

Now?

Now I have heard a low-fi copy of the theme, have watched the opening titles, have a pic of the threesome on my machine and am wondering how I could have gone through life without shouting the name of one of the actors in times of shock. (Try it, "Larry STORCH!" Good, eh? Almost as good as "Mongo SantaMARIA!")
Yes, I should be hoovering. No, I haven't been to the shops yet and, yes, I am logging off after this.

For a bit.

A way for a wile.

Recently updated me profile and thought people might think I was being pretentious, or daft, regarding my fave book. Not so, pilgrim, take this as read. many times.

Still looking for a copy of God is love, get it in writing, if anyone is chucking one.

One day I will capture some of my heroes, load 'em into the back of a Transit and take them to an island where they will work, breed and come to create a new world. Or we could all get drunk and talk crap. Either way, I will be itching the next morning. I will return to this later on. I will just say that some of the names cast away would include Shend, The Mighty Boosh, Half Man Half Biscuit and Jeremy Clarke. He once a Baccarudda, oh yes!

Lots to catch up on and with, especially friends and myself. Saw Jac last night, stunned by how well she could know me and I felt in awe of her patience keeping me as a friend. Love her to bits and will make good one day.

Tonight, I will be battling Mark in a turntable tussle for the title of Mini Babybel Mixmaster Supreme, West Midlands Division, when we get our laptops and samples locked and loaded and a little bit leary(?) Looking forward to it.